A sense of peace 


Hello family , 

Wow it’s been such a long time since I posted something , a lot as happened so far.

I was having a self battle , I felt the need to really discover my self , I felt like I need to put a stand in my life . I had so much worriness and a big fight I was having with my self; everything became kinda worse with the stress of Uni course works to hand in, expecially the research methodology one ..

*Uhu sweet lord 🙄

I don’t know if the right word was falling in depression , but it was something like that , I didn’t want to pick anyone’s call or respond to any message , I didn’t call people or even message , thank God I had no credit to do so, I knew I wanted to be left alone , I was loving being solo , but I knew it was killing me at the same time. 

I sleep so late at night but wake up early at the usual time , my eyes were like a clock and automatically opened at a certain time . 

I got to the point that I went to bed worried and woke up worried 😩. I began to think about the future , things I want to do , I wished so many things , I was thinking of the achievements I want to get , I was proper in a deep thought about my self . 

I began to see my self as an hard maths to solve. There was no remedy !!! 

Although if you see me outside I smile I’m usual , but inside was a battlefield. 

I almost lost  a close friend due to my behaviour but I wasn’t bothered , I literally told the person ” if you leave I will say bye to you , cause I have no strength to run after you , for the way my mind set is at the moment , and the things going on in my life , you may easily go on a forgetting list quickly “. Was I hurt? Yes, kind of but still I was unshakable, I was ready to let go of anyone that wanted to leave despite how much that person could mean to me!! I simply didn’t care. 

All I cared about was ME! I felt that if I am not happy how can I transfer happyness to my next ? I need to be happy first for me to uplift someone next to me. 

You may ask did u try God ? Well yes and no . 

I was skipping church as well I just paused everything except going to work !

Finally yesterday I went to church after 2 weeks of actually not going to any activity . 

And …… the confirmation !!

God was speaking to me from the Sunday school up to the end of the service, it stroke my mind that God are u talking to me ? Because everything fits in perfectly with what I feel inside and deep down me ! 

And where I even felt that his presence was with me and for me was when  the choir started ministering , I broke down , looked heaven and cried my life out , I brought out all my feelings in those tears , I felt in my heart all will be fine , what ever the battle is he is in control of it . I cried all day because I was touched spiritually ! I was weak and needed a touch! 

That touch was God !! 

I found peace I found a sense of peace ! 

I can say I feel much more better than the past weeks .

I am still a bit down but God who made me , knows my purpose in life , he knows who I am , he knows who I will be n what I will be . He knows everything ! 

And in that picture I am smiling because life will not defeat me , the devil will not defeat me through his funny tricks . I smile because victory is mine, because I am the daughter of a king , I am a daughter of Zion , a virtous woman , a mighty woman with Might angels having my back. A woman with power. You cannot touch me because I’m covered in the precious blood of Jesus , so no weapons formed against me will ever prosper. 

God has strengthen me and revived me.

I feel like a new creature guys . 

I want to improve more , cause I feel I am not there yet !! I still feel a bit out of place. But with God all things are possible !! 

Just a little update from me, about what is going on see you in the next post 

With love 

Follow me on Instagram : St3ffy_ & on Twitter @irukablog 

4 comments

  1. Awww thank God for giving u peace of mind… I just want you to know that God really have a good plan for you but the devil always try to disrupt those plans with our worries and anxieties… Buh we can only be victorious if we say no to the devil by not worrying !!! don’t worry about anything just focus on God he’s our provider !!! He’s our everything. I really care about you but God really really cares about you ! If he could open your spiritual eyes to see everything he has in store for you you’ll be surprised but he wants you to work by faith…cause that’s how you can show you really trust him!!! Just believe and don’t look back dear. Much love ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so happy that the Lord has shown you the life He has for you! The enemy will do whatever they can to hold us back from OUR blessing. And that’s the crazy part, the enemy KNOWS, they know we have a blessing waiting for us, but they will try to “delay” it.
    God is so awesome and it’s a beautiful moment when you realize God has NEVER left you. Rather we were the ones who needed time.

    Thanks for sharing your testimoy,
    LovJas💕

    Liked by 1 person

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